North Division Season Eight Preview
Click on the team image to see the team roster.
Daylight Gobbery
Back for their 5th season in the ABBL, the Gobbery are still going strong! The sacking of their Head Coach, Alf Gobsey at the end of Season 6 appears to have borne fruit as the team managed an unprecedented three wins during season 7! There were even mutterings of qualification to the Play-Offs and there was actually a small chance of this happening, believe it or not. But, unfortunately for the brave little Gobbo’s, it was not to be. However, there is a newfound sense of hope around the training ground as they look forwards to Season 8. In fact, there is so much hope, they’ve barely bothered turning up for training… Bobby Gobson must have some kind of master plan up his sleeve as any Blood Bowl team (let alone a Goblin one!) without any training does not usually last too long…
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But, the Gobbery are nothing if not tenacious. The fact that they are entering their 5th season speaks to that. Players have come and gone but the stand out stars of this team are definitely the two Trolls. George Eats’Em is the only player in the entirety of the ABBL to have 3 Player Awards to his name (Most Successful Thrown Team-Mates Season 4, 5 & 7 - only missing out on the Season 6 record and most consecutive Player Awards due to a clerical error) and is one of those rare players to have achieved a double digit amount of MVP’s with 10 so far. His partner in crime, Ron Pow-ers, prefers to focus on the ‘hitty’ end of the spectrum having managed 40 Casualties over his 4 seasons with the Gobbery, a rate of 10 casualties per season that any player would be proud of! Backing up these dim-witted monstrosities is a mixture of veteran and rooky Goblins, most notable of which is the Doom Diver, Glenn Waddle. Notable mainly because he seems to have struck up a good rapport with George and has (so far) managed to avoid being eaten! If he keeps this up, you never know, the Gobbery could end up causing quite the upset…
Da Gobsnaperz
Da Gobsnaperz have had a tumultuous few seasons in the ABBL, last season only managing a win in their final regular game, although they did have a notable run in the Cup, only losing in the Quarter-Finals in a tight run game against fellow Orcs, Da Ripped Limb. Coming from the West which was dominated by The Middenheim Mindbreakers and Marienburg Bluebloods (which did lead Gobsnaper himself to question if he should change the team name to starting with an ‘M’ – but the best he could come up with was ‘Mmmmfffgh!’ which his Goblin scribe couldn’t spell, despite being able to pronounce it perfectly after receiving the Orcs’ particular kind of ‘training’…), Da Gobsnaperz are happy to make the return to the North and seek their chances once more in the Division where they first began their ABBL story.
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Despite their relative lack of success, the tools are there for these Orcs to turn their fortunes around. They’ve lost a few key players such as their experienced Thrower, Fazorg and the Blitzer Azzgrom but the 11 players left can form the core of a team that may finally find their stride this time around. Leading the charge (quite literally!) is Kruggar, the ridiculously fast Blitzer (rumours are he can even give Wardancers cause for concern in a flat out foot race) who hits as hard as something travelling that fast should! Skobad the Big’Un has developed a knack for seeking out opposition ball carriers and, even though he can’t possibly hope to match Kruggar’s speed, he does seem to find himself in the right place at the right time to help those ball carriers lose their precious cargo. The only possible fly in the ointment could be Ratbag, Fazorg’s Season 7 understudy who seems more concerned with putting the boot in than actually throwing the ball…
Underworld Chiefs
The Underworld Chiefs are a grimy, ‘orrible bunch of lowdown dirty rats with a copious amount of tiny little greenskins constantly capering around their feet, awash with pus and mucus and festering boils that most sane people would run a mile from! For the Chiefs however, this abundant fecundity of rot is a constant source of joy, for they are Father Nurgle’s chosen and revel in their filth! Their Head Coach, Walt Chop-Check however, is not so much a follower of Nurgle as a tolerant bystander. And by tolerant, we mean he coaches from behind a magically shielded screen wearing extravagant nose-plugs and with a bucket of disinfectant to hand and doesn’t let any of the players come within 10 yards of him! The fact that he coaches them at all, despite all the dangers of disease and decay speaks volumes about their potential and, thankfully, he has a tremendously loud voice…
Leading the team in both potential and stench is the Skaven Thrower, Itchy (as in name, so in nature). His accuracy of throw already becoming apparent in pre-season training, he also has the added advantage of hosting a colony of fleas, ensuring most players simply avoid him, leaving him free to hone his ability. The main recipient of Itchy’s accuracy is Poisonniere, a Gutter runner who specialises in concocting vile potions and salves (or cocktails and skin cream as he calls them) with which to promote and imbue Nurgle’s gifts on opposition players. Finally, waddling along in his obese majesty is Chugg, an over-sized Troll with a constantly dribbling nose and vomit that smells even worse than his kinds’ usual effluence. Grinning inanely, this wonderful example of foulness casually launches Snotlings all over the pitch while occasionally popping the odd one in his mouth when he fancies a little snack…
Wolfenburg Bulls
The Bulls were unfortunate to lose out on a Play-Off spot last season, especially with a late charge of 4 wins on the trot! But, early losses to the eventual ABBL Champions and the Cup Champions saw them squeezed out. Their only League losses were to the two Season 7 Champions and the Black Sun Legion so they go in to Season 8 with their heads held high and confidence brimming! Unfortunately, there’s not much of the team left with plenty of experience having been sacrificed to keep the icon of the team on board: James ‘Blockhead’ Jones! The only surviving member of the team since their first season way back in Season 4 is determined to make what is likely his last throw of the dice his most memorable, determined to leave his mark on the ABBL.
The rest of the team is mainly rookies with a few other stalwarts returning. The Ogre, Mustomp Face-smasher is looking to remind people why he’s named such and Alfred, the Thrower is still trying to fill the big boots of Captain Flashheart, a tough ask indeed! With a Division including Goblins and Underworld Denizens, some would rate their chances this time round although the Lizardmen in the form of the Mc’s and the Orcs of Da Gobsnaperz could prove problematic. The other team of concern are the Middenheim Mindbreakers who the Bulls narrowly defeated in Season 7 but the Vampires are stronger than they were and by no means a certain win. Many of their fans are crying out for more silverware, eager to show they’re not just a one-time winner. Is this finally the time for the Bulls? This may be their last chance to find out…
The Mc's
The Mc’s had a tumultuous start to their first season, arguably due to being placed in a tough Division with the likes of Casualty-record-setting Petty Hate Machines and thump machines, The Mileham Villans, both of which qualified for the Play-Offs. However, despite this, they weren’t beaten off the park and only one of their games was determined by more than 1 Touchdown so, despite their relatively poor record of just 2 wins (one of which was against the Petty Hate Machines), these guys could end up a force to be reckoned with in the North.
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This time round they are in a Division where they could end up being the ‘hitty’ team! Their time in the East has certainly hardened them with half their Saurus Blockers developing new ways to inflict pain and injury on their opponents and are relishing the prospect of facing ‘squishier’ opponents. With their new Head Coach Zootoca Vivipara now calling the shots, many are tipping them as a team to watch. However, with the likes of the veteran Wolfenburg Bulls and the Vampires from Middenheim also resident in the North, it’s not going to be an easy ride.
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Thankfully then, they don’t only have a solid front line with which to challenge for the title in the North. Callum ‘Can’t’ McCann is the main Skink weapon, having scored all of The Mc’s Touchdowns during their League matches last season and could well have scored more if they had been able to play all their scheduled fixtures. Expect him to be high on the score-sheet once again. His spawn-mate, Cameron "Dunking” McDonald has become the teams’ main passer, ending last season only 3 behind the eventual winning total. Again, if those games had been played, he could well have been challenging for the Player Award himself. Make no mistake, the Mc’s are in with a chance!
Middenheim Mindbreakers
The Vampires of the Middenheim Mindbreakers hit the West Division hard in Season 7, only losing 3 out of the 9 games they got to play and winning 5 of the others. If they had had the opportunity to play the other 3, they could easily have gone on to top the Division having defeated the eventual winners, The Marienburg Bluebloods in one game and drawing against them in the other. Their losses came against hard-hitting teams the Petty Hate Machines and the Angry owls and also against fellow North Division team, the Wolfenburg Bulls. On the other hand, they defeated Da Gobsnaperz twice and Daylight Gobbery last season, both of which are also in the North this season. It’s a mixed bag of opponents both old and new for the Mindbreakers but they have every opportunity for success, especially considering their key players and the fact that they destroyed the Gobbery in a pre-season friendly, 6-1, putting the memory of their Quarter-Final loss against Gnaw-Itch firmly out of their minds.
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Of the Vampires on their team, the first to consider is Sabrina, an icily calm Runner with 12 Touchdowns to her name over 9 games last season, you can easily see her challenging for the TD record this time round. With 2 MVP’s to her name also, she’s soon become a firm favourite with the fans, keep an eye on her as the Mindbreakers get their campaign underway! On the other end of the spectrum is Carmilla, the Blitzer. Her reliability and professionalism saw her garner 5 MVP’s over the course of season 7, mainly for being a constant threat to any opposition ball carriers, more than once dispossessing erstwhile scorers at key moments. Finally, most of the violent tendencies have come from the mighty Vargheist, Katabasis, the monstrous beast accounting for all of the Vampires’ casualties last season. It’s fair to say opponents will be keeping as far away from them as possible!