ABBL Mercenaries
Unique Mercenaries exclusively available to ABBL coaches. Each Mercenary's rules and stats are in the tables below. If you click on their name, you will be taken to their biography and player card. Below these are each Merc's stats. Some have been inherited from when they played on ABBL teams and will be added to as the Mercs are used and earn more accolades. If any players of yours die or you don't re-draft them and think they may be a fun addition to the list feel free to email them to moderndaynomad76@gmail.com and you could see them on this page with their very own player card!
Old World Classic
Sylvanian Spotlight
Elven Kingdoms League
Badlands Brawl
Halfling Thimble Cup
Lustrian Superleague
Underworld Challenge
Worlds Edge Superleague
Favoured Of...
Any Team
ABBL Career Stats
Bio:
Starting his career over 30 years ago, Pineapple (one of the three famous Crumble brothers, the other two being Apple (older) and Blackberry (younger)) carved a name for himself when an unscrupulous coach, behind in a game, thrust a chainsaw upon the diminutive fellow and shoved him unceremoniously on to the pitch, reasoning the entertainment alone would keep the fans coming back! Nobody expected what happened next. In a bloodthirsty rampage of violence (well, actually, he couldn't figure out how to turn the chainsaw off. Nor control it really. Or see where he was going. in fact, he was pretty oblivious to everything around him all the while!) Pineapple proceeded to decapitate 11 of the opposing team over the course of the 2nd half and handed a victory to the astounded coach who immediately signed Pineapple up for a permanent contract. For the next 5 seasons, Pineapple dismembered and decapitated all-comers with barely a scratch (no-one dared go near him!), attributing his amazing ability to avoid harm from his own chainsaw to "keeping the flaming thing as far away from me as I can!". Stricter regulations around who could wield chainsaws eventually forced him to retire (although quite why removing Halfllings from the list of players able to utilise them baffled many fans of the game - Pineapple was very much an oddity, most stunty players fell victim to chainsaws as soon as they picked them up and in hilariously gruesome ways!) and he disappeared for a while. Now, with the new rules allowing him to play again, he has been tempted out of retirement to wreak havoc once more!
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Lady Alessa Dimasteponu has found her way into the hearts of many Blood Bowl players and fans. Sometimes with her intoxicating beauty and terrifying alure, other times more directly via their carotid artery. First stepping onto the pitch only a few years ago, she has made her ample presence considerably well known in a very short career, amassing one of the largest fan clubs in recent history. In fact it is often claimed that mere rumours of her appearance will draw scores of volunteers to a Sylvanian team, people of all ages, races and gender, desperate to become her thralls. Always impeccably dressed, Lady D takes to the pitch in long flowing gowns, and her very presence has been known to cause opposing players to simply stop and stare. Being over nine foot tall and the owner of huge tracts of land, this is not entirely surprising. While normally the very image of motherly care and charm, her strength should not be underestimated. Players who accost Lady Dimasteponu do so at their own risk.
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 1
Fatalities: 0
Completions: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
When the Valkyria Panthers 'liberated' their captain's body from the Washington Deadthing's Necromancer it was presumed purely to ensure the correct rites were conducted, given her status in Amazon society. As it turned out, the magic that had infused Alyx's body in the last moments of that fateful (and fatal!) game, still lingered. Somehow, the Blitzer's soul clung to a precarious half-life and it was only in the hidden temples of her homeland did an arcane process restore her. The Alyx that emerged wasn't the same as the Alyx that drank, partied, brawled and schemed with her team-mates and one day, she simply drifted off... Recently she has been spotted watching her former team during matches and pundits have been predicting a great comeback, just when her team needs her most...
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Completions: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: Valkyria Panthers
Nobody expected the return of Arlanath, not even Arlanath himself! The player the Memorial Cup was named after, (having earned the dubious accolade of the only player to have died twice in one season - a feat even most other Blood Bowl players grudgingly accept as worthy of respect!) was happily enjoying his after-life when he was rudely pulled back in to his old battered body by a young foolish Necromancer, dabbling in things he really wasn't advanced enough to be studying. As a result, he neglected to put the usual safety measures in place and Arlanath had returned with all his mental faculties intact! Quite disgruntled at being back, he let the Necromancer know exactly how disgruntled he was and promptly disembowelled the foolish student... Fully expecting to return to his cosy after-life he was more than a little miffed to realise he was back permanently and there was no going back for him at all. Resigned to a permanent undeath (he tried several times to destroy himself but every time, his body slowly rebuilt itself, a side-effect of the bungling Necromancer's attempt at resurrection...) Arlanath decided to return to the one thing he knew, Blood Bowl! Now a mercenary for hire, he uses his own presence as a distraction to aid his team-mates. After-all, nobody can resist gawping at a player that has come back for a 3rd life...
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Completions: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: The Mongrel Horde
Count Binface – Hero of the Stunty Folk
It is entirely possible that this unknown human was very lost. The goblins who found him were charmed by his eccentric policies and chaotic demeanour. They were also impressed by portraits of him standing next to an emissary of Nurgle disguised as Imperial Nobility. As a result they did not eat him, nor allow the trolls to eat him. He announced himself to the half-pint gobbos as Count Binface and offered to champion their cause in exchange for continuing to not be eaten.
As a mark of his continual and uneaten gratitude, and as part of his new manifesto to stand up to the tyranny of the ‘double-sized folk’ (as the Goblins refer to them), Count Binface has rendered his services to the stuntier and runtier of the ABBL, helping them out in times of dire need (and economic capability). Behind his steel facade lies a cunning Blocker ready to do anything to help those less tall than he, standing fearlessly on the line of scrimmage and staring down Elf and Dwarf alike.
It is worth noting that, while he is keen to aid in the struggles of his vertically challenged hosts and handles himself rather well in a scrum, he also has literally no idea how to actually play Blood Bowl. If he picks up the ball it will mean almost nothing to him and even less to his team-mates...
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 1
Touchdowns: 0
Interceptions: 0
Fatalities: 0
Deflections: 0
Rob is an ancient, craggy old Orc who retired from regular play a few years ago. Even as an active player he was morose and taciturn, never a popular team-mate and he never seemed to quite fit in. Unfortunately, his increasing age has not mellowed him in any way at all and the cantankerous old Greenskin simply doesn’t play well with others. So why would anyone hire him? He’s a bit of a slow poke and it’s fair to say he’s not as nimble as he once was but, by Nuffle! He hits like a dwarven cart full of Gold that’s been rolling down the track at the speed of a Skaven Gutter Runner on Warpstone Dust! To say that there are not many players able to get up after he has smacked them down is not an understatement and most players do as much as they can to stay away from him on the Blood Bowl pitch*, which isn’t too hard to be fair… Unable to stomach getting by on the meagre pension his days playing for the Ripped Limb garnered him (and he only got that through loudly complaining until the Head Coach acquiesced just to stop his constant noise…), he will occasionally come out of retirement briefly to get some extra ‘Beer Gold’ and punch some heads in, for old times sake...
*Not just to stay away from his fists but also so that they’re out of ear-shoot of his constant whingeing about the price of whetting stones these days, how Goblins have got far too much cheek (not like those Goblins back in his day “wot did wot dey woz told and a boot in der face wern’t nuffin, too soft dis lot…” etc, etc) and how modern tribal drums are just a lot of noise with no real skill involved, not like… you get the picture!
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 6
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Alicia is an Amazon that has taken things so far to the extreme, not even her own tribe wanted her to stay with them and banished her as a result. She could only return on the completion of her penitence. Nobody knows what this is or how long it is to last for but, given her almost obsessive attachment to her Chainsaw, The Eviscerator, some wonder if she’s interested in completing her penitence anyway!
Alicia stumbled on a hidden temple to Nuffle, long buried in the Amazonian jungle while out foraging for food. Within were artifacts of ancient Blood Bowl games and also, the very thing that came to dominate Alicia’s life. She took the chainsaw back to her tribe and signed up for a friendly game of Blood Bowl against a visiting tribe. Although Alicia had the game of her life, wracking up an impressive amount of kills, the visiting tribe didn’t take too kindly to the slaughter (to be fair, neither did her own tribe!) and promptly cut off all ties and trading agreements in place and immediately left. After her banishment, she took to the road and is now selling her services to any Lustrian team in need of a little bloodshed!
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Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 1
Fatalities: 0
Hailing from the Brass Citadel in the Cracked Lands, Cerberus arrived through a rift in reality, torn wide during a particularly violent game of Blood Bowl. Khorne, doing his usual favourite free-time activity (well, counting skulls, forging mighty weapons and devouring weak souls takes up a lot of time in a Chaos Gods’ day!), watching Blood Bowl matches across the Old World, had decided the teams involved in this particular match had earnt the glory of a visitation by one of his favourite Hounds and sent Cerberus to ‘play’.
Immediately, Cerberus became enamoured with the ball! For some inexplicable reason, the spheroid object being thrown around the pitch caught his attention so much he was filled with an over-whelming desire to go and get it! Get it boy! Go on then! And woe betide anyone that gets in his way! As soon as coaches realised this of course, they started to engineer situations to ensure Cerberus ran in the right direction. In games involving the Hound, there are far more images of Khorne than normal in the advertising banners of the opposition Endzone. For some reason, Cerberus seems to always want to return the ball to his master…
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Having played through 2 full seasons with the Dietfurt Destroyers and pretty much being the main playmaker of the team, as well as acquiring the Most TD's and GIT award for Season 5, Gregor wasn't exactly happy at the choice of the team to move to the Conference for Season 6. So much so, he quit on the spot (not that the Destroyers could continue to afford him in all honesty!) and stormed off in a proper hissy fit!
Along with this decision came the chance to really show his skills in the League without the restrictive play style of the Destroyers holding him back (at least that's how he saw it...) and so he became a Mercenary for Hire, trading on his fame found with the Destroyers to keep him playing for years to come.
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 1
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 39
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: Dietfurt Destroyers
Bio:
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 8
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 20
Completions: 0
Deflections: 1
Interceptions: 0
Lucien's career began as a lowly deck hand on the pirate ship captained by the Slashakova sisters. As the team's fame grew, they needed more players and begrudgingly gave Lucien an opportunity, if only to avoid the hideous fees 'professional' players were charging! It turned out to be an inspired signing as Lucien went on to become a superb player and a stalwart of the team for the next 2 and a half seasons.
Being a pirate, money was always the goal for Lucien and, eventually, he squirrelled enough away to buy his freedom! But his new-found fame on the Gridiron proved too seductive to just throw away and besides, why not make a boat-load of cash doing something that he was, quite frankly, very good at, 7 MVP's clearly showing this. And so he put himself on the Mercenary circuit for the ABBL and now plays for any Elf team that can afford him.
Originating Team: Woods Wiccan Wonders
Bio:
Eric the Red, formally a star with the Mileham Villans, was, with his former goblin team mates a founding member of the new Goblin Players Union. On the day of the signing of the union's formation charter several players were killed in unusual circumstances and the others left the Villans 'by mutual consent'. Rumours of his family's kidnap were investigated by the club and found to be without foundation, according to a club spokesman.
During his time with the Villans, Eric scored an impressive (for a Goblin...) 8 TD's, one of which being the equaliser in the Season 7 Wild Card game against the violent Petty Hate Machines that the Villans eventually won for which he also got his one and only MVP. Small wonder he extolled the virtues of Goblin-kind to all who would listen in his efforts when forming the Union. If only he hadn't have been trying to extoll those virtues to 7' tall, musclebound Orcs with size 12 boots!
Now acting as a Free Agent, Eric takes every opportunity he can to 'big up' his fellow diminutive Greenskins - maybe we'll see more of them on the ABBL circuit as a result? Or maybe we'll just see more footage for the blooper reels...
ABBL Career Stats
Originating Team: Mileham Villans
Casualties: 3
Touchdowns: 8
Deflections: 0
Fatalities: 0
Completions: 0
Interceptions: 0
Bio:
To come
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Bio:
No-one knows where The Gimp came from or who he actually is! A bit of a legend in his own lifetime, he only appeared in the ABBL after Skaven coaches in the League were lamenting the fact that there never seemed to be enough Skaven Slaves with which to throw at opposition players to protect their own players. Many find it odd that a Skaven Coach would be worried about their Lineman at all, that is what they are for after-all isn't it? But, hearing the call, the Gimp made his debut!
Offering a surprisingly low price for his skills, many have come to suspect that the Gimp is a bit of a masochist. He's always in the thick of the action, taking hits that would otherwise have been directed at regular players and standing up with an unusual glint in his eye as he dances away, taunting the opposition to catch him! If any Underworld coaches need a punch bag, this rat is your guy!
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Deflections: 0
Fatalities: 0
Completions: 0
Interceptions: 0
Bio:
This Skaven came from a large litter of rats, the mother of which, frankly, couldn't be bothered to name them all! In fact, so bad was she a mother that she sold the perpetual rights to her brood to the Mongrel Horde and gave them just one name to use: Ratsputin. Each time one of the Skaven died or had to retire through injury, the next would step up and take their place. Ratsputin V is the first of this brood to not only excel at the game but to stay healthy and alive long enough to be able to buy his way out of his contract!
While with the Horde he became a threat to any ball carrier on the opposition, able to blitz and sack many a Thrower with his speed and Horns, leaving his team-mates to take advantage of any carnage he dished out and this crucial role in the team was recognised with the award of 6 MVP's over his Horde career. Nowadays, he uses his fees as a Mercenary to fund the hunt for his and his brothers' mother, vengeance purely in mind...
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 9
Fatalities: 1
Touchdowns: 8
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: The Mongrel Horde
Bio:
Created by the Petty Hate Machines, the Vor-0-Vor Min-0-Tor was built to answer important questions in automata design. Questions such as 'Can a machine feel hate?', 'Is there such a thing as too much strength?', and 'Can a three-ton death machine actually play Blood Bowl?' The answer to the latter was a resounding 'Yes'! In two seasons, Vor-0-Vor earned an impressive 33 career casualties, and won the coveted 'Most Casualties Caused' award two seasons running. On both occasions the trophy had to be lowered into Vor-0-Vor's cage from the end of a very long pole!
What it lacks in speed, it makes up for in strength and brutality. There is nothing subtle about this beast of steel and smoke. The creators say that the fires in Vor-0-Vor's boilers are fueled by an unquenchable rage. That they burn hotter even than the flames of Hashut himself. This might just be marketing, since the Petty Hate Machines are arms dealers first and foremost, but it is true that more than one blitzer has found their courage drain away from a single look at Vor-0-Vor's terrifying visage. Dark magics or just common sense? Hire him for yourself and find out.
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 33
Touchdowns: 0
Deflections: 0
Fatalities: 1
Completions: 0
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: The Petty Hate Machines
Bio:
Khorne loves blood. The more the better! What he loves more than that is his servant’s winning, dripping in the blood of their enemies...
Pitbull is Khorne’s greatest servant. Scorer of over 25 touchdowns across two seasons the legendary Khorngor was renowned league-wide for his ability to get the ball in the end zone. A “rare breed,” Pitbull offered speed and skill all other followers of the blood god could only dream of. If you wish to serve the dark gods, this league superstar is surely one worth the coin.
Photo taken before he gained the extra head!
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 25
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Completions: 0
Originating Team: Anger Management
Bio:
The ABBL came in to being 8 seasons ago with a mind to create a fair and even playing field for Coaches to enjoy Blood Bowl and with a goal of creating a Blood Bowl community. As time went by, this happened and all was good. However, inevitably, that time also led to inequality and unfairness and so the ABBL chose to manifest its own solution and the avatar of the ABBL itself, Athena came into being!
Athena can never be bought for her skills are only for the downtrodden and she is only available to those teams that are out-matched by their opponents, her fee taken from the petty cash available for that team in the game to come. In exchange, she provides protection for her team-mates, a reliable bulwark in the chaos of a Blood Bowl scrum, able to take on the strongest contender when needed or shielding the most vulnerable when threatened, embodying the principles of the ABBL in all she does.
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 0
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 0
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Bio:
During the Despoilers very successful development tour of the ABBL, Sieben went from a shy young Beastman to a rising star in the world of Blood Bowl. When the Despoilers returned to the forest with their charges now brimming with confidence and self esteem, the board decided to promote Sieben to ambassador and encourage him to continue his career on the pitch. Now Sieben plies his trade as a mercenary in the ABBL, taking every chance he can to smash face and raise awareness about the plight of mutant children around the Drakwald.
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 5
Touchdowns: 6
Deflections: 0
Fatalities: 1
Completions: 1
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: Drakwald Despoilers
MVP's: 2
Bio:
Lucas Lee is a Legend. From Humble beginnings as an amateur Blitzer from the City of Wolfenburg, he made his name on the Pitches of the ABBL to become the most decorated Human Blitzer in the Leagues' History.
In his four seasons with the Wolfenburg Bulls, he lead them to a Semi-Final in the Arlanath Firesk Memorial Cup in his second Season. Before taking the team one step further and winning the whole competition in Season Five. In Season Six he was able to Rack up enough Casualties to come joint first with a Minotaur which was no small feat. He also garnered a total of 10 MVP's in his long career.
Now he becomes a Mercenary to take his Legendary Story to new heights.
ABBL Career Stats
Casualties: 26
Fatalities: 0
Touchdowns: 4
Completions: 0
Deflections: 0
Interceptions: 0
Originating Team: Wolfenburg Bulls